April 2012

             April has been a wonderful month in our house.  Looking back it was very peaceful, with just one meltdown from Victoria.  She has been on her anti-anxiety medication for about a month now, and it has been difficult to judge/tell if it is having any positive affect on Victoria, until last night!!!  She has been using a heater in her room pretty much since she first got here, and we have tried a couple of times to get her to stop.  Well the last week or so, I would walk in her bedroom in the morning and it would be hot as heck, and she wasn't even using her covers.  So I would make her drink a huge glass of water at breakfast, I told her she was sweating too much and getting to hot she needed to rehydrate, she didn't like to do it, but she knew the alternative was turning her heater off.  Well, yesterday afternoon, Matt called her out her room and told her she didn't get to use the heater anymore, it's just too hot, but she could use the fan setting.  Two months ago this would have been a huge meltdown that probably would have taken an hour to get through, and her first reaction was to panic, but we had a rational conversation with her and she accepted it.  It was amazing.

She got another award at school on Friday for going the "extra mile."  Micah and I went to the assembly, it was wonderful. She is taking Art now instead of P.E.  So we are brainstorming ways to keep her active at stuff she wants to do.

I am currently reading Temple Grandin's Book "The Way I See it."  Temple is in her sixties now and was diagnosed with Autism at a very early age.  It is widely agreed upon that she has given the most insight into autism over anyone else.  She is amazing.  Her book has me inspired and very hopeful for Victoria.  I have had a lot of  "a-ha" moments, and moments when I feel good about the steps and work we are doing with Victoria.  However, on the other hand, we have a long way to go, and Victoria has ALOT of work ahead of her.

Micah is doing amazing.  He is definitely enjoying the freak wonderful weather we are having.  He loves being outside and we usually bribe him or bring him inside kicking and screaming.  Luckily he is still little, so mom and dad still win.  He literally is talking non stop, and for the most part I can understand him.  I don't know about everyone else.  Micah and Victoria spend a lot of time playing outside together, which I love.

Micah's favorite new phrases

Cretch Mom ~ Catch Mom

Hi Mom, a doin?  ~ What are you doin?

strawbees ~ strawberries

Where go? I can't find em?

see Momma's computer

see iPad?

Micah does it

until next time...

Reminder to self

Reminder to self: As much as Matt and I feel that we are on the steepest learning curve of a lifetime with Victoria. She is on a very steep one also. She is learning how to be a big sister to Micah. She has no idea what to do with him, but is still doing simply amazing. She is learning how to be part of a family. The size of her household doubled when she moved here. When she asks me something, most of the time she will also ask Matt the EXACT same question. She is trying to learn that whatever one of us says goes for both of us, and she is learning that it makes us CRAZY when she asks both of us. Unfortunately/fortunately for her (depending on who you ask), she has gone from a single parent household where mom is very busy and preoccupied, to a house where stepmom is home when she gets home and is very involved in every aspect of her day.

As each day passes we are all getting used to and learning our new and ever changing roles. My prayer is that I remember her side and cut her a little slack. :)

4 1/2 months

Victoria came to live with us 4.5 months ago. Wow! It feels like both yesterday and a lifetime ago. I think she has made some very positive changes since she got here. Her sense of humor grows everyday, which is great, considering this house runs on humor. I honestly can't think of any examples this second, but maybe I will while writing what will probably turn out to be a monster of a post. So go grab a cup of coffee and take a seat.

Victoria started swim lessons about a month ago and is doing very well. Her second week she was actually swimming. It was so awesome to see. Her goal now is to swim under water. She also goes to gym time for expectational kids at the YMCA after swim lessons. I love to watch the kids in the class play, there is a wide range of ages and abilities, and it doesn't even seem like the kids notice. They just like playing together.

Victoria started anxiety medicine two weeks ago, and we are watching for changes. I don't think we have seen anything significant yet, but I know time will tell. We are watching to see if she if she is treating herself better. She is very hard on herself, and doesn't like herself if we have to get on to her. On the bright side, we haven't seen any negative affects with her taking the medicine.

She should be seeing an Applied Behavior Analyst (ABA) soon. We are not quite sure on the specific details, but she should be receiving around 40 hours a month. We are very blessed that Matt is in the Air Force. We are paying minimal out of pocket costs for this therapy. It is the only research based therapy proven to help autistic children. So we are very excited for this to begin.

For those of you who aren't aware, we are being transfered to Luke Air Force Base near Phoenix, AZ in September. We are very excited and nervous about our move. Victoria will be moving with us. Her developmental pediatrician has told both Victoria's mom and us, that it would be most beneficial for Victoria for her to stay with us longer. So now the plan is for her to move back with her mom in January. However, I believe that will depend on if her mom can get transfered out of Bethel to Anchorage. The good news is that Victoria will be able to receive ABA in Anchorage.

4 1/2 months later I can honestly say that I finally feel like I am treading water instead of being beneath the water with a straw trying to suck in air. Victoria visited her mom Easter weekend, and it was nice to have a break for both her and us. I knew that I was going to be tested when she got home. And we did see some very minor things that we attributed to her being with her mom, but as soon as she walked through the door I felt awesome and was so glad she was home. This is where I want her to be, because I believe it is what is best for her. (I will probably come back and read this paragraph on rough days :)

Victoria and Micah have started playing together a lot more. Of course, I have to tell her to or she will be in her room on the computer, but we are taking baby steps. I love how much they love each other, and I love listening to them from another room when they don't know. Victoria is anxious about everything, so if Matt or I am in the room, she spends a lot of the time asking us if she is doing okay.

Well, I think that is enough for now. I promise not to be a stranger to this blog. Thanks for reading.

Our Weekend

Victoria had her first swim lesson on Saturday. She had a great time. It is a class for children with disabilities. There were about 6 kids total, and it was an hour long, so she got some great one on one time. I love that all of the kids in her class were younger than her by at least 4 years, and she didn't even notice. She just loves to be around other kids. She started a conversation with a girl in the locker room, who is an older sister to one of the kids in her class, but was still probably only 8. Victoria kept the conversation going on in the lobby with me. The girl sat down at a table by ours, and V said, "Don't you think she is beautiful?" And the girl told Victoria that she loved her glasses. V said, "thanks, I got them at January." The girl told her she got hers at Walmart. It made me giggle a little. I told the girl that Victoria got hers at Walmart too.

Then, Victoria got to stay for gym time for kids with disabilities. There were probably 10 kids in this class, with a wide variety of ages and disabilities. They did stretching and played basket and hockey. It was fun to watch the teachers always asking Victoria if she could dribble when she was walking/running. She could do it quite well, she just seemed to either forget or just not think it was that important.

Needless to say after two hours of exercise she was tired. I tried to tell her on the way home that if she took a nap that would be fine. Nope. She stayed up until midnight, and had one meltdown in the afternoon. I'm pretty sure with was escalated because she was so tired. She definitely had a rough time staying awake during church and Sunday School the next day also.

When Victoria first came to live with us, she was dead set on the food that she would eat. However, I always told her she had to try it first. I am getting bolder with the food that I put on the table. Our staple meals have been spaghetti, tacos, and pizza. She will now eat tuna casserole, broccoli chicken casserole, and others. (Sorry, I'm writing this at 6:30 in the morning and I've only had one cup of coffee. My memory isn't perfect yet. :) Long story short, she is getting a lot better at what she will eat. I made Shepherd's pie last night for Matt, she ate the meat out of it and the mashed potatoes with out complaining that she didn't like it, but it was clear she didn't. I told her I was proud of her for not complaining, and next time I made it, I would make something else for her and Micah.

Speaking of eating and Micah, my amazing eater is not so amazing anymore, at least not at eating. I know I should be thankful for almost 2 years of him eating whatever was put in front of him. Now all he asks for is hot dogs for dinner. But let me add, he will eat fruits all day, and still likes the veggie puree pouches. But I can't remember when he ate something for dinner that wasn't kid friendly. (I'm not sure this paragraph makes sense, but I'm not rewriting it, sorry.)

Happy Post ~ Micah

Not that the posts about Victoria aren't unhappy.

For the last month or so, Micah seems to be blooming into a new person. He has become a lot less whinny, sure he wants his Momma ALL the time, but his personality is much more calm. He has time out maybe once every couple of days. And is favorite line is, "Okay Momma." And, "thank you Momma." He still loves trucks, and he LOVES babies. We are surrounded by them at church, and he loves them. He talks about babies all the time. (No this is not a post to say we're pregnant. :) If he hears a baby cry, he says, "Sowwy Baby."

Some of my favorite new phrases he says.

Try again.

Oopsy Daisy

Too cold

Daddy funny/silly

night night Sister

Baby Hazel

When Micah was sick, I was holding him until he went to sleep, but most of the time I would just lay down in our bed with him, and he would sleep with us all night. After he was sick, he wouldn't go to sleep well at all. I happened to pull out one of the sleep books I read when he was a baby to give to a friend, and read that toddlers need to be told that you, the parent, are right down the hall and they are not alone. The first time I tried it, he fell asleep no problem. And has been falling asleep no problem ever since. Thank you book!

Victoria and Micah love each other very much and the two of them together make me smile everyday. I am very happy about the timing of our move to Arizona, since it will take Micah's mind off the fact that Victoria is moving in August. :)

Happy Birthday Victoria!

Victoria's 12th birthday was Saturday and it was a wonderful one. Her grandma and husband picked her up around 11 to take her to see The Lorax. Which was so nice, because Matt and I got to clean and decorate for her party. When she got home she opened her grandma's present, and then they left.

After that a couple of friends from church came over. Victoria loves her friends. This was the first time she's had a birthday party with friends and the first time she had friends over.

When we asked her what games she wanted to play on her birthday, she said Sorry. Who are we to say that Sorry is not a party game. So she got play Sorry with her friends. Then she made some vidoes, and got to show them Garfield and Friends on DVD. She had a smile on her face the entire day.

On a typical Saturday, we can usually only get Victoria to spend an hour total outside of her room unless we go somewhere. This includes meals. On her birthday she spent over 9 hours outside of her room. She even stayed out after her friends left.

When she was opening her presents, she kept saying, "this is the best Birthday ever." I don't think anyone in the room didn't have a huge smile on his/her face. It was awesome. She got Garfield cupcakes and vanilla ice cream.

It was one of the best days ever.

Victoria being funny

Without knowing it, I have been passing some silly phrases onto Victoria, and Micah for that matter. I guess I always tell her to show inanimate objects who's boss. So, she came out of her room a couple of days and said, "I tried to show my jacket who was boss, but I lost." I started laughing so hard. Just a little background, she sometimes has difficulties zipping jackets/sweatshirts and she has a peacoat that she has trouble getting the collar to lay down flat. I was so proud of her humor, because usually she just uses movie quotes when she is trying to be funny. I love seeing a little sarcasm come out in her. :)

Then, yesterday I received a package from my mom in the mail. She asked who it was from, and I said, "my mom." She asked what it was, and I said, "probably just some junk." (More background, my parents have been cleaning out there house, so I was guessing it was stuff I had left there in the past.) Her reply, "I thought your mom liked you." (so did I.)