Victoria is starting therapy

Hi Friends

Victoria started her ABA therapy last week, and she loves her therapist.  It's probably because they have only been hanging out so far, but I know she is going to be great for V.  I feel very grateful that this is happening and I know that it is going to be great for Victoria and our family.  She will actually be spending 9 hours a week with her.

This past weekend was definitely a roller coaster for her.  She didn't have swim lessons because they were canceled for everyone.   Which was perfect because she woke up with "sore throat." So at breakfast I said, "that's awesome that your lessons were canceled because you wouldn't have been able to go anyways."  She sat there for a couple of minutes, then looked at me and said, "I think God did that."  I was completely choked up, and that is my favorite statement to come out of her.  I said, "I think so too." She said, "Yeah, because He can predict the future."  I just smiled.  There is no denying that she has turned our household upside down in very positive and not so positive ways.  But if she only learns one thing while she is here,  I want it to be that she knows God loves her.

She has had three pretty serious meltdowns since Thursday, and we are pretty sure it's because she has a "sore throat."  She lost her computer privileges Saturday night, and she thought she was going crazy.  It was around 4:30 and I told her she wouldn't get to have the computer until 7:30, which she doesn't have it a lot during that time anyways, but of course it was the end of the world in her mind.  Until I told her that we didn't get home until 8:30 the night we went out for Dad's bday dinner.  And then she was completely calm, and then came the tears.  For some reason after a big meltdown it becomes confession time.  She says all the things that she has been holding in for who knows how long.  After that, she did just fine with her punishment.

Today she came home from school with a band-aid on her finger and when I asked what happened she started to get super anxious.  Long story short, she was tired at school which made her distracted from her work and she got in trouble so she scratched herself.   And she was VERY worried that if she told me she was tired I would change her bedtime, as if that was humanly possible.  (trust me it's not, at least not by me or Matt.)  I told her she is 12, she chooses to go to bed at midnight and is tired the next day, that is her natural consequence.  (Life is sure hard sometimes.  :)

I know that no one else has or will ever keep me on my toes like Victoria does.  My prayer is that I never take for granted the time I get or her brother gets to spend with her.  I also prayer that I deal with her with as much love and patience as I humanly can.  She can put a smile on my face quickly and make me laugh like no one else.

Happy 2nd Birthday Micah Bear!!

Micah Bear you could not be more loved than you are right now.  Everyday you are shown such love from your Daddy, Momma, and Sister.  Some would call it spoiled rotten, I call it loved.  :)

Micah Bear you could not be more loved than you are right now.  Everyday you are shown such love from your Daddy, Momma, and Sister.  Some would call it spoiled rotten, I call it loved.  :)

It seems that a couple of days before Micah turned two, someone snuck him a script and he was cast the role of a 2 year old.  He started having tantrums and using the word "no" quite loudly at his parents.  It happened over night and it would have been funny, had it been anyone else's kid.  Before his birthday he rarely needed to be disciplined, but he has spent his fair share of time in the time out chair recently.  Also, for a couple of months I would ask him "why he was in time out?"  And he would just say "sorry Momma."  Now when asked he tells me, "yelled at Momma."  It's pretty awesome to see his little brain getting bigger.  He has also become SUPER sensitive the last couple of weeks.  He cries all the time, and doesn't like it when we are upset, even if we aren't upset at him.  For instance, I spilled my whole glass of water on the floor, and groaned loudly.  As I was leaving the room to get a towel, Micah said, "Mommy?"  And his eyes were full of tears.  So I have learned to definitely control my emotions if possible around him.

Micah loves to be outside.  He received a water table from his Gramma for his birthday, and he loves it.  He takes all his toys "swimming."  

He loves his big sister.  Watching the two of them play makes my heart so happy.  They are learning slowly how to play with each other and take turns.  Victoria is learning that she doesn't have to give Micah everything she is playing with, and that a big sister helps her little brother with patience and sharing.  :)  However, a lot of their play times are cut short because they don't want to play what the other one is playing, and neither one gives in.  And there is no rationalizing it to either of them, so I just hang back and let them play separately. 

Micah LOVES Momma's iPad.  (

Micah still loves trucks, trains, airplanes, and buses.  At the park near our house, sometime we will be there when people are flying their model planes, and Micah will sit and watch for as long as they fly.  He picked out books at the library about airplanes and trains.  

Here's Micah with his Favorite type of trucks!!

April 2012

             April has been a wonderful month in our house.  Looking back it was very peaceful, with just one meltdown from Victoria.  She has been on her anti-anxiety medication for about a month now, and it has been difficult to judge/tell if it is having any positive affect on Victoria, until last night!!!  She has been using a heater in her room pretty much since she first got here, and we have tried a couple of times to get her to stop.  Well the last week or so, I would walk in her bedroom in the morning and it would be hot as heck, and she wasn't even using her covers.  So I would make her drink a huge glass of water at breakfast, I told her she was sweating too much and getting to hot she needed to rehydrate, she didn't like to do it, but she knew the alternative was turning her heater off.  Well, yesterday afternoon, Matt called her out her room and told her she didn't get to use the heater anymore, it's just too hot, but she could use the fan setting.  Two months ago this would have been a huge meltdown that probably would have taken an hour to get through, and her first reaction was to panic, but we had a rational conversation with her and she accepted it.  It was amazing.

She got another award at school on Friday for going the "extra mile."  Micah and I went to the assembly, it was wonderful. She is taking Art now instead of P.E.  So we are brainstorming ways to keep her active at stuff she wants to do.

I am currently reading Temple Grandin's Book "The Way I See it."  Temple is in her sixties now and was diagnosed with Autism at a very early age.  It is widely agreed upon that she has given the most insight into autism over anyone else.  She is amazing.  Her book has me inspired and very hopeful for Victoria.  I have had a lot of  "a-ha" moments, and moments when I feel good about the steps and work we are doing with Victoria.  However, on the other hand, we have a long way to go, and Victoria has ALOT of work ahead of her.

Micah is doing amazing.  He is definitely enjoying the freak wonderful weather we are having.  He loves being outside and we usually bribe him or bring him inside kicking and screaming.  Luckily he is still little, so mom and dad still win.  He literally is talking non stop, and for the most part I can understand him.  I don't know about everyone else.  Micah and Victoria spend a lot of time playing outside together, which I love.

Micah's favorite new phrases

Cretch Mom ~ Catch Mom

Hi Mom, a doin?  ~ What are you doin?

strawbees ~ strawberries

Where go? I can't find em?

see Momma's computer

see iPad?

Micah does it

until next time...

Reminder to self

Reminder to self: As much as Matt and I feel that we are on the steepest learning curve of a lifetime with Victoria. She is on a very steep one also. She is learning how to be a big sister to Micah. She has no idea what to do with him, but is still doing simply amazing. She is learning how to be part of a family. The size of her household doubled when she moved here. When she asks me something, most of the time she will also ask Matt the EXACT same question. She is trying to learn that whatever one of us says goes for both of us, and she is learning that it makes us CRAZY when she asks both of us. Unfortunately/fortunately for her (depending on who you ask), she has gone from a single parent household where mom is very busy and preoccupied, to a house where stepmom is home when she gets home and is very involved in every aspect of her day.

As each day passes we are all getting used to and learning our new and ever changing roles. My prayer is that I remember her side and cut her a little slack. :)

4 1/2 months

Victoria came to live with us 4.5 months ago. Wow! It feels like both yesterday and a lifetime ago. I think she has made some very positive changes since she got here. Her sense of humor grows everyday, which is great, considering this house runs on humor. I honestly can't think of any examples this second, but maybe I will while writing what will probably turn out to be a monster of a post. So go grab a cup of coffee and take a seat.

Victoria started swim lessons about a month ago and is doing very well. Her second week she was actually swimming. It was so awesome to see. Her goal now is to swim under water. She also goes to gym time for expectational kids at the YMCA after swim lessons. I love to watch the kids in the class play, there is a wide range of ages and abilities, and it doesn't even seem like the kids notice. They just like playing together.

Victoria started anxiety medicine two weeks ago, and we are watching for changes. I don't think we have seen anything significant yet, but I know time will tell. We are watching to see if she if she is treating herself better. She is very hard on herself, and doesn't like herself if we have to get on to her. On the bright side, we haven't seen any negative affects with her taking the medicine.

She should be seeing an Applied Behavior Analyst (ABA) soon. We are not quite sure on the specific details, but she should be receiving around 40 hours a month. We are very blessed that Matt is in the Air Force. We are paying minimal out of pocket costs for this therapy. It is the only research based therapy proven to help autistic children. So we are very excited for this to begin.

For those of you who aren't aware, we are being transfered to Luke Air Force Base near Phoenix, AZ in September. We are very excited and nervous about our move. Victoria will be moving with us. Her developmental pediatrician has told both Victoria's mom and us, that it would be most beneficial for Victoria for her to stay with us longer. So now the plan is for her to move back with her mom in January. However, I believe that will depend on if her mom can get transfered out of Bethel to Anchorage. The good news is that Victoria will be able to receive ABA in Anchorage.

4 1/2 months later I can honestly say that I finally feel like I am treading water instead of being beneath the water with a straw trying to suck in air. Victoria visited her mom Easter weekend, and it was nice to have a break for both her and us. I knew that I was going to be tested when she got home. And we did see some very minor things that we attributed to her being with her mom, but as soon as she walked through the door I felt awesome and was so glad she was home. This is where I want her to be, because I believe it is what is best for her. (I will probably come back and read this paragraph on rough days :)

Victoria and Micah have started playing together a lot more. Of course, I have to tell her to or she will be in her room on the computer, but we are taking baby steps. I love how much they love each other, and I love listening to them from another room when they don't know. Victoria is anxious about everything, so if Matt or I am in the room, she spends a lot of the time asking us if she is doing okay.

Well, I think that is enough for now. I promise not to be a stranger to this blog. Thanks for reading.

Our Weekend

Victoria had her first swim lesson on Saturday. She had a great time. It is a class for children with disabilities. There were about 6 kids total, and it was an hour long, so she got some great one on one time. I love that all of the kids in her class were younger than her by at least 4 years, and she didn't even notice. She just loves to be around other kids. She started a conversation with a girl in the locker room, who is an older sister to one of the kids in her class, but was still probably only 8. Victoria kept the conversation going on in the lobby with me. The girl sat down at a table by ours, and V said, "Don't you think she is beautiful?" And the girl told Victoria that she loved her glasses. V said, "thanks, I got them at January." The girl told her she got hers at Walmart. It made me giggle a little. I told the girl that Victoria got hers at Walmart too.

Then, Victoria got to stay for gym time for kids with disabilities. There were probably 10 kids in this class, with a wide variety of ages and disabilities. They did stretching and played basket and hockey. It was fun to watch the teachers always asking Victoria if she could dribble when she was walking/running. She could do it quite well, she just seemed to either forget or just not think it was that important.

Needless to say after two hours of exercise she was tired. I tried to tell her on the way home that if she took a nap that would be fine. Nope. She stayed up until midnight, and had one meltdown in the afternoon. I'm pretty sure with was escalated because she was so tired. She definitely had a rough time staying awake during church and Sunday School the next day also.

When Victoria first came to live with us, she was dead set on the food that she would eat. However, I always told her she had to try it first. I am getting bolder with the food that I put on the table. Our staple meals have been spaghetti, tacos, and pizza. She will now eat tuna casserole, broccoli chicken casserole, and others. (Sorry, I'm writing this at 6:30 in the morning and I've only had one cup of coffee. My memory isn't perfect yet. :) Long story short, she is getting a lot better at what she will eat. I made Shepherd's pie last night for Matt, she ate the meat out of it and the mashed potatoes with out complaining that she didn't like it, but it was clear she didn't. I told her I was proud of her for not complaining, and next time I made it, I would make something else for her and Micah.

Speaking of eating and Micah, my amazing eater is not so amazing anymore, at least not at eating. I know I should be thankful for almost 2 years of him eating whatever was put in front of him. Now all he asks for is hot dogs for dinner. But let me add, he will eat fruits all day, and still likes the veggie puree pouches. But I can't remember when he ate something for dinner that wasn't kid friendly. (I'm not sure this paragraph makes sense, but I'm not rewriting it, sorry.)

Happy Post ~ Micah

Not that the posts about Victoria aren't unhappy.

For the last month or so, Micah seems to be blooming into a new person. He has become a lot less whinny, sure he wants his Momma ALL the time, but his personality is much more calm. He has time out maybe once every couple of days. And is favorite line is, "Okay Momma." And, "thank you Momma." He still loves trucks, and he LOVES babies. We are surrounded by them at church, and he loves them. He talks about babies all the time. (No this is not a post to say we're pregnant. :) If he hears a baby cry, he says, "Sowwy Baby."

Some of my favorite new phrases he says.

Try again.

Oopsy Daisy

Too cold

Daddy funny/silly

night night Sister

Baby Hazel

When Micah was sick, I was holding him until he went to sleep, but most of the time I would just lay down in our bed with him, and he would sleep with us all night. After he was sick, he wouldn't go to sleep well at all. I happened to pull out one of the sleep books I read when he was a baby to give to a friend, and read that toddlers need to be told that you, the parent, are right down the hall and they are not alone. The first time I tried it, he fell asleep no problem. And has been falling asleep no problem ever since. Thank you book!

Victoria and Micah love each other very much and the two of them together make me smile everyday. I am very happy about the timing of our move to Arizona, since it will take Micah's mind off the fact that Victoria is moving in August. :)