First Consequence

Okay folks, get ready for a bumpy ride. I have been putting of posting for no good reason, so this could be quite a jumbled post. And just so everyone knows, I do reread my writing, so no editing is done.

Let's start with last night's meltdown. Victoria is a very cold natured person, and when she got here we were keeping our house at about 63. We have started setting it higher. However, Victoria has become accustomed to the heater in her room and has added it to her nightly routine. (hindsight is 20/20). So last night, Matt told her no more heater at night, because by the time we all wake up in the morning, her room is a sauna. She was not okay with that, as soon as Matt left the room, he heard her pacing and having a meltdown. Long story short, she got her heater on. I am the one to wake Victoria in the morning, so when I went to wake her up, her room was a sauna, and Matt said she had a meltdown, and said she couldn't sleep without the heater on. At first, I wanted to talk to her about it before she went to school, but she looked exhausted and I didn't want to send her to school upset and have her not do her work. I am also finding, that before I have a serious talk with her, I need to give myself a couple hours to one, calm down, and two figure out how and what I am going to say.

7 hours later she got home from school and I was ready. Here are the different thoughts that went through my head today:

1. She has never had a consequence at our house, because we are afraid of a meltdown. Yes, she is autistic, but she still needs discipline. We can not be afraid of an 11 year old.

2. I was more upset that she had a meltdown, than the fact that she wanted the heater on.

3. She needs to learn to work through her meltdowns and not overreact. And my guess is that she has been taught this before, we just need to reinforce it. We'll see what happens next time....

Okay, I thought there was more, but whatever. So when she got home I told her we needed to have a talk about what had happened the night before. She immediately got VERY anxious. I told her I wasn't mad and I wasn't going to hurt her, we just need to talk. She said she overreacted and got mad and thought she wouldn't be able to sleep. (I tried to talk about not turning the heater on after 12, but that was a no go for now.)We talked about how it is not okay to over react/hit yourself :( what there are solutions. So her solution now is to calm down, relax, and to talk to Dad or myself. I told her that she was going to receive a consequence for her actions. I had talked to her before about consequences and types of consequences that she could get. I asked her to think of a consequence for herself, but that just made her anxious and mad at herself. So I told her that she would need to spend 15 minutes after dinner on the couch with no computer or TV show that she wanted to watch. I said she could talk or watch something if Micah was. She asked if that was until her bedtime, I said no, and we talked about how long 15 minutes is. My main objective for that timeout was taking away internet from her without her freaking out on me. And mission accomplished.

About a week ago we lost power at 10:30 pm because of a windstorm. I can honestly say those 2.5 hours were some of the worst of my life. There was not rationalizing with her. Long story, short, not fun. I spent the next day feeling hung over.

I am going to Development Pediatrics tomorrow to ask about her referral. I left a message last week about it, and the recording said I would hear back in 3 days. One of the things is, I just want to make sure that they received her referral, and two, I need them to know that it's serious. So, we'll see how well I keep my cool tomorrow. :)

Victoria is doing well at church. I let her read one of her books during the sermon, but hope to stop that in the next couple of months. I love that fact that she is there with us.

She came home from school today and said, "I asked if they have Valentine's parties, and the teacher said no." So I'm pretty sure we will be having our own!! Super excited!

I just want to say thanks to everyone who has left comments about this blog and who is thinking and praying for us. It really means a lot to me. I am feeling very loved and cheered for. (I know that doesn't make sense, but I'm not changing it.)

My challenge this week

I started this blog post with this paragraph 5 days ago, must have gotten busy and didn't finish.

:-)

I believe there is a balance in parenthood in what to have your children do for themselves and what you should do for them. I pretty much have it down for Micah. I know what he is capable of and what I need to do for him. But everyday I challenge him to do things by himself and I am amazed at what he can do. Victoria is in a whole other ball field, playing a completely different game. Things that I think she should be doing by herself, she simply can't, doesn't know how, or is simply not able to do. However, she is very easy to take care of, and spoil. She is courteous, so bringing her a drink when she should be doing it herself, is hard not to do. I believe that one of our most important roles as parents is to prepare our children to be self-sufficient.

Today:

Last week everyone had a unexpected week off, including Matt. First we got dumped on with snow, and then an ice storm came. Over 300,000 people lost power last week. I was praying every second for the power to stay on, so that Victoria would have her computer. Thankfully, we did not loose power, however on Friday we lost our cable/internet. And I finally realized that Victoria is addicted to the internet. I know that the word addicted is overused in this day in age. But she had a complete meltdown. To her, loosing the internet meant, she would never sleep again, because part of her nightly routine is to watch certain videos on the internet. It was a very sad time for us. She wanted to be alone, so I told her I would check on her every 5 minutes. I suggest other things to do and she said it's not that simple for her to feel better. However, 10 minutes later she came out and asked to go the bookstore. I was happy, I would have taken her anywhere she wanted to go. So we went to the bookstore, the books uplifted her mood, and when we got home the cable was back on.

We tried to go to late service the last couple of weeks and it was not for us. So Sunday we decided to go to early service. Victoria wakes up at 7 for school anyways, so it really wasn't any different. Matt was the hardest to get out of bed. So I put on my drill sergeant hat and got everyone out of the house by 7:41, church starts 8:00 and it's 20 minutes away. We got there just in time. Victoria was very good in church, so was Micah. Well, Micah is usually good in church if we go to early service.

Victoria went back to school today after being off for a week, and she still is not a fan of middle school. She misses her school in Alaska, because they play games and she gets to get on the internet. So Matt and I are talking about some reward system for her, so that she tries her best at school. However, she does like gym, which is the last hour of the day. She really likes it when they do bowling.

A little about Micah Bear:

Micah is a Michigan Baby. He loved being outside in the cold and snow. Every time we came in he was screaming. Even when the snow was up to his knees. Every night he stops at Victoria's room to say good night. He says, "Bye." And she laughs and smiles.

Micah Bear 20 months

I feel like I have been neglecting Micah on the blog lately. (It's because he hasn't had a post since last March!) He is an amazing little boy. I think he is adjusting well to having Victoria coming to live with us. However, he has been a little bit more whinny and needing just a little more attention. Which is making me just a little bit more crazy than usual, so I try to remind myself what he is dealing with. Sometimes that helps my patience, sometimes it doesn't. Micah LOVES automobiles of any kind, especially "Big Ducks!(trucks)" He will point out all the big trucks when we are in the car. He loves buses, city and school, he's not particular. He has a whole bin of trucks, trains, planes, and bikes.

Micah has a very large vocabulary, but it could be just me thinking my child is a genious. :) He also does a really good job of repeating words we say. Which is mostly a good thing. Matt had a great time reading a book with him the other day, pointing out frogs and foxes. Let's just say I was cooking and thought I needed to wash Micah's mouth out with soap.

He LOVES LOVES LOVES to dance. It's like his body has a mind of it's own. When he is in the kitchen and he hears a song he likes from the living room, he can't ever figure out if he should go closer to the music, or stay in the kitchen and dance. It's very funny to see.

Micah has started to take care of his stuffed animals. He will feed them and put his pacifiers in their mouths. When we were at a friends house and a baby cried, he went to check on her. He will be a great big brother, someday. Cookie Monster is his favorite stuffed animal and character. He likes to say, "Night Night Cookie." We both agree that Cookie Monster doesn't have enough camera time on Sesame Street.

Before Micah was one, I was told by a couple of moms that his appetite would decrease when he turned one and started moving around. Holy cow, that boy can eat. He really amazes me sometimes. He eats more before 9 am, then some people eat all day. He loves his vegetables and will pick fruit over anything else. So I really can't complain.

Last but definitely not least, Micah loves books. Which makes his momma so happy. He doesn't really have a favorite book, but he does have his nap/bedtime books and other anytime books. He loves books about automobiles, obviously. But also likes to read books about animals.

I know there is more that I want to share about him, but I believe this post is long enough. All I can say is he is the sunshine in my day and can always make me laugh. Thanks for being you Micah Bear!! Momma loves you!

First Week of School

So, Victoria's first week of school went great. She LOVES her glasses, and tries to wear them to bed. I love that they have boosted her self-esteem, who knew! She came home with a girl's soccer packet for school. I asked her if that was something she was interested in, because she is not a fan of exercise, and she said she was interested. We talked about it a little more, I told her that soccer is mostly about running, and she still wanted to do it. So I talked to her teacher, who is also the head of the schools athletics, and he said she could do it and it would probably be good for her. As long as she knows, they practice in the rain and cold. Hopefully it lasts, because I would love to see her in a team sport.

Thursday morning, I dropped her off at school and as she was getting out of the car she said, "Bye Micah." Considering she VERY rarely acknowledges him, it brought a smile to my face and tears to my eyes. It was very sweet. Then Micah started crying, because he hates when it's time to say goodbye to anyone. :)

Both of Victoria's maternal grandparents live within an hour and a half of us. So, Grandma called last night to see if she could have her for the weekend, which sounded great for Grandma and Victoria. However, when I asked Victoria if she wanted to go see Grandma, she said yes, but started making her anxious body movements. So we talked about it, and she said she didn't want to upset Grandma, but she would rather stay home. Well, we tried it anyways. :-O. The whole way to drop her off, she said she would rather go home with me. I said, I know but you need to spend time with Grandma. Long story short, we got a call 2 hours later with a very upset Victoria. One of Victoria's obsessions is youtube, she can't fall asleep without it, and it is the first thing she wants to do whenever she gets home from anywhere. Well, Grandma doesn't have internet. Which set her off and Grandma could not calm her down, until she said she would bring her home. This is definitely one of our goals now. Her Grandma would like to have her for a couple of weeks this summer. So, we will see what happens. We are going to start with day visits and with Grandma coming to visit her up here. Needless to say, Victoria is in her room now, happy and on the internet. :-/. However, she looks exhausted and worn down from her melt down.

The good news for the night, is Matt doesn't have to work in the morning, so he is staying up to put Victoria to bed. So, here's to me getting in bed and not getting out until 6 am, HA!

PS Victoria woke me up last night at 3 am to tell me she was mad that she overslept. Um, Victoria you didn't over sleep, you went to sleep when I put you to bed, and that threw you off.

First Day of School

Today was Victoria's first day of school here in Lakewood. As I was taking her to the school, I kept asking her if she was nervous, she kept saying, "no, I'm fine." I figured out I was nervous, and made myself stop asking her before she became nervous. I took her to her classroom, which is a self-contained Special Education room. Which means that she is a classroom with other special ed students all day. The room is partitioned off into 3 sections, so the teacher and aides can work with different levels at the same time. The teacher said that the grade doesn't matter for the groups, it's the ability level. I felt much better after talking to her teacher for awhile.

Before, I picked her up later I was able to talk to her teacher and he said she had a great day. He also said that she is very polite. She also said that she had a good day. She even has gym at the end of the day and didn't complain about it! Needless to say, I feel much better about her going to school tomorrow. But I'm sure I'll find something to worry about soon. :)

Sunday, January 9

So, it is almost midnight. I have already been to bed for 1.5 hours tonight, but I woke up to put Victoria to bed, so Matt could get some sleep. Confusing, huh? Victoria needs her strict bedtime routine, so Matt stayed up to give her medicine at 10:30 and cocoa at 11:30, now he's in bed, and I will tuck her in a midnight. Only for her to get out of bed at least another 5 times. She has extreme anxiety about going to bed, and this is the number one reason why she came to live with us, so we can take her to the doctor. (Sorry if this doesn't make sense, it's just giving me something to do, so I don't fall asleep on the couch.)

So Matt and I entered the world of 2:2 at church today. People always comment to us, "Micah was so well behaved at church." My reply is always, "He better be, it's 2 to 1." It's a bit challenging with 2 in church, especially since today was Victoria's 2nd time Ever to go to church. However, I'm sure that both children were very well behaved, I on the other had was a stressed nutbar. Don't ask me why? I know it will get better.

After church, I took Victoria to pick out glasses. We had a long talk on the way there to hopefully prepare her for what would happen. I told her, she was just going to pick them out, and that we would pick them up in a week when they were ready. Well, all our worrying was for nothing. She LOVES wearing glasses! (we will see what happens when we actually bring them home.) But she picked out a cute pink pair and she loves them. She says she looks beautiful in them. I thought I was going to cry right there in the store. To hopefully keep the excitement, we did bring home a Disney Princess glasses holder, which she also loves. Stay tuned on more glasses development.

Once again, thank you God for the most beautiful January day. We took both kids to the park, where hopefully they released enough energy to sleep well tonight. Here's hoping!

Today was a great reminder that I am not in charge of this crazy roller coaster life, God is. And as much as I like to be in charge and in control, I will let God take the wheel on this one. Okay, just tucked our girl in. I forgot the other thing that she likes to wake us up and ask us if we are going to wake her up in the morning. She likes to be be woken up at 8. So in the 3 minutes it took to tuck her in, I probably said 5 times what time I'm going to wake her then asked what time I'm going to wake her. So maybe she won't wake me up in an hour to remind me?????

Adventures at the Clinic

So, Victoria had her first eye exam this morning. It could have gone better for her, she was very anxious and frustrated there. I am on a steep learning curve and am learning new things every day. I should have talked her through the exam process, I have only had a million myself. I also learned that she gets VERY frustrated that she can not see, so if you ask her to read letters that she can't see, she shuts down. Who can blame her for that? Also, we took her to the medical clinic that mostly deals with Active Duty military, and not so many children or autistic children for that matter. Thankfully when the doctor came in, he was very calm and gave encouraging vibes. The second part of the exam went much better and the doctor is pretty sure of the prescription, and we will go back in a month to make sure. He said that the second visit usually goes better with less anxiety. Time will tell.

Then, because that wasn't enough of an emotional roller coaster for Victoria, I took her to get shots. I could see her getting more and more anxious while we were waiting to be called. By the time it was our turn, she was already in tears. It was so sad. However, she was very brave and as soon as she was done looked at me, smiled and said, that's not as bad as I remember. Ahhhh! Thank goodness, because we have to go back in 2 months for a follow up. :)

Needless to say, Victoria earned all of us McDonald's for lunch! And because we are being blessed with an amazing winter, the sun was out so we got to go to the park before lunch. Both kids were very exited about that. It was cold and sunny. I also learned today that Victoria is a professional swinger, (her words), and she loves to swing. I love learning new things about her.

We are still waiting on Victoria to start school. Hopefully Monday or Tuesday. Victoria is very ready to start back to school. That's another thing, enrolling a child into school is no piece of cake. Especially one in Special Ed. The school district got back to us yesterday letting us know which school Victoria will go to, but when Matt went to the school to enroll her, they had no knowledge of her enrollment. But, we are very excited that she will be going to school about a half of a mile away.

I will try to get a picture of Micah and Victoria soon, but Victoria does not like to have her picture taken, so we'll see what we get.

The Glowicki Family 2012

Hi Friends! Boy did 2011 fly by, I apologize for my serious lack of updates via blog. I will try to do better in 2012 starting with this update. On Dec. 31st I flew up to Anchorage to pick up Matt's daughter Victoria, so she could come live with us until August. She will be 12 in March. Until now, the longest we have had her is for 2 weeks, so we are very excited. However, you might be guessing that there is a reason for us to uproot her from her mom to come live with us. Victoria was diagnosed with Autism about 7 years ago. It seems that hormones and puberty to a number on this diagnosis and considering Victoria and her mom live in the middle of nowhere Alaska, she is living with us for awhile so that we can give her the medical care that she needs.

So far, Micah thinks it is amazing to have another person in the house for him to entertain. Victoria loves her little brother but is not quite sure what to do with him. Heck, I don't know what to do with him half the time. I think that Micah and Victoria getting to know each other this year will be the silver lining in her living with us.

We took Victoria to the doctor this morning to get her a well check up and to get a referral for her to see developmental pediatrics on at the nearby Army Hospital. We found out at the appt, plus Victoria had been telling us, that she has a vision problem. So we are taking her for an eye appt on Friday, and she will most likely need glasses. This could be a bit of a challenge, since Victoria already has a very low self esteem. So we have already started talking about her wearing glasses and how cool she will look in them. :)

Victoria also has trouble going to sleep at night, so with her going to be around midnight and Micah up at 6, Matt and I feel as though we have a newborn again. Who ever said parenting is easy is a liar!

Victoria is very excited to start school here, which is very encouraging. However, due to the fact that she needs Special Ed. services, we are waiting on the school district to look over her paper work, to make sure she is in the best school and class that can take care of her needs.

So far 2012 has been challenging, exciting and fun! We are definitely looking forward to the roller coaster ride this year will take us on, and hopefully I will take you on it to with this blog.

(PS these updates are for me took look back on to see progress, and for the very few people out there who want to be updated on us. :)